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Quick Dating Tips

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Quick Dating Tips from Fab Love

Understanding Body Language

If you know the signs of body language it will empower you and give you a greater understanding of all those you come into contact with. While our mouths maybe saying one thing, the little quirks of our body movements give away what we are truly thinking or feeling. Understanding your own and your dates body language will not only give you better idea of their true self but increase your own self-awareness and self-control. Body language is guided by primitive parts of our brain - named the limbic system and determines whether we feel comfortable or not with the immediate environment. This primitive force tells us when to pursue, run or fight. Also that part of our brain is responsible for our feelings of love, so its quite important to know its signals.

Understanding the signs will tell you if your date is truly into what your saying or despite their words, or uncomfortable wants to leave. There's an old saying that first impressions count, but its not just what your wearing its how your body reacts, even though most of the time you are totally unaware of it.

Eyebrows. Called the 'eyebrow flash', it happens when you first meet someone your attracted to. It lasts only a split second but is a dead give away. The lifting of the brows opens up our eyes making them bright and appealing. Its the first signal that you or they find attractiveness. So if your date raise them brows when you first meet, they are interested and like you. Conversely, a lowering of eyebrows signifies a dislike and during conversation smooth, relaxed brow and eyes means they are bored.

Parting Lips. If he/she meets your approval when you first make eye contact, the lips will part slightly and often part during the course of the date.

Flaring nostrils. The overall effect of flaring nostrils, raised eyebrows and parted lips makes the face more friendly, which is obviously the desired picture you need to paint if you like someone.

Exaggerated gestures. This can range from subtle gestures like adjusting a tie or dress or something more obvious. If your date makes exaggerated movements or gestures, becomes excitedly loud or boisterous, it usually means they are trying to stand out and be noticed as an individual by you. Sort of a love dance ritual from our primitive days of attracting a mate. If we had feathers, we fluff them up and dance around to show off our colours.

Preening.  To look more flattering we often smooth or brush back our hair with a quick flick of the hand or smooth part of our garment. Gentle rolling the backs of the fingers up and down the cheeks, stroking the chin, touching the ears. When we're attracted to someone, the skin, especially lips and face, become increasingly sensitive to stimulation, so we touch them because it feels good and want to indicate it to the date. They are all acts to make us more attractive and appealing to the other. Next time your out somewhere sitting together and you go to the bar or washroom, take a little backwards look and watch the hand touch the hair or smoothing the clothes. The woman will often twiddle with her hair when flirting while the male will touch his chest or have erect thumbs.

Posture. Posture indicates open or defensive and it also indicates confidence in yourself. It should be head up and not gazing at the floor and definitely keeping arms and legs uncrossed. When we are not totally pre-occupied by our date, which we should be if a relationship is about to kick off, there are some obvious signs. Their eyes gaze off elsewhere constantly, they keep adjusting themselves in their seat, always shifting body posture, keep moving hands to a different position or momentarily reaching in their pockets or bag as if checking something. All signs that their mind is elsewhere and not that interested in what your saying or you as a person.

The Smile. You can always tell a fake smile as its a mouth only thing. Whereas a genuine smile of pleasure is symmetrical and will produce creases around the eyes and mouth. There are six basic facial expressions - happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, anger and surprise and being aware consciously and able to read them, gives you far greater insight to the person. Relax, smile and show you are enjoying yourself and your date will do likewise.

Nodding. When your speaking with someone, the nodding of the head is taken as a sign that they are into what your saying and encouraging you to continue. Its used every day in conversation. But, on a date it can be a really important to maintain eye contact while nodding as its a signal showing they are synchronised with you and believe it or not, your subconscious is seeing sexual compatibility and the brain starts releasing hormones that stimulate you. And watch for the slight tilting of the head to the left while maintaining eye contact, indicating they are taking special interest in something your saying.

Visual voyaging. Your date deliberately lets their eyes have a little cruise over your body, with a momentarily stop at the nice parts. Don't worry, they did that instinctively and silently the second they first saw you. This time its deliberate and they want you to see it. Its loudly done all the time in many countries and in their culture, if the man or woman doesn't blatantly do it, there's no chance of a date. Its called visual voyaging and basically means your being considered as a sexual partner. If a flirty conversation follows, better let someone know you will be home late tonight.

Positive signs. Moving towards you, maybe shuffling the chair a little to reduce space between you both, means they are liking what your doing or asking. Leaning in towards you, legs uncrossed, feet pointing towards you and wiggling, palms up, arms open, playfully fondling jewels or hair, smiling, extended eye contact with approving nods, glancing down shyly, genuine smiles, parted lips, confident posture, twiddling the wine glass between the fingers, lots of accidentally-on-purpose touches.

Negative signs. Moving slightly to create space between you, leaning backwards or away from you, feet pointed away, stiff and crossed legs, folded arms, palms down, closed hands, rubbing eyes, scratching nose or nape of neck, frowning, grimacing, turning the eyes to the side, false smiles, poor eye contact, constant fidgeting.

It doesn't necessarily mean they like or dislike you, but it does mean that they like or dislike what your saying or doing at that moment. Giving you a signal to carry on or change direction and topic. The more responsive to each others feelings a couple are towards each other, the stronger the relationship formed.

Have a Fab next date and all the best from the Fab Love team.




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